Lame quasi-spoilers.

All unconfirmed, nothing definite, and all vague enough so you won’t look that stupid in front of your co-workers if one or two of these turn out to be not-so-true. Spill these at the watercooler tomorrow morning and see how right you turn out to be. Impress your friends with your John Edward-like cold reading abilities!

They say…

…That one of the up-until-now “middle of the road” guys has chosen an uptempo song and has been blowing everyone away in rehearsals. It’s apparently not Brandon Rogers, though, as word on the street is that he will once again fail to bring the “wow factor” this week. UPDATE: This rumor, apparently, pertains to Chris Sligh. Heh. We’ll see.

…That Sanjaya Malakar continues to do okay, but hasn’t raised his game.

…That Haley Scarnato may buy herself another week with her performance.

…That Gina Glocksen is struggling this week.

…That Stephanie Edwards is juggling three songs right now (perhaps due to clearance issues?).

…That Blake Lewis is worrying about toeing that Taylor Hicks-ish line between unique and gimmicky.

I’m not putting a lot of stock in these, simply because they come from a new “source” whose accuracy hasn’t been confirmed, I don’t think, and also because they have a Nostradamus-like ambiguity to them. The only really specific stuff floating around out there is that Lakisha Jones plans to sing “I Will Always Love You” (not really a spoiler; she said it in an interview) and that Chris Sligh would like to try a classic hymn.

Spoiler update.

Confirmed? Unconfirmed? I think these are pretty good. Let’s see.

Antonella Barba: “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae. Great song, but about as fitting for Idol as John Mayer was last night. Antonella might be able to sing it passably well, but she could also pull a Jared Cotter in that it’s nothing more than solid.
Melinda Doolittle: “I’m a Woman.” Not that W-O-M-A-N, song, is it? Eh, I’m sure Melinda will do it up right anyhow.
Gina Glocksen: “Call Me When You’re Sober” by Evanescence. I don’t know this song, and I’m not too familiar with Evanescence, but I know that they’re at least slightly edgier than Celine.
Jordin Sparks: “Heartbreaker.” Mariah or Benatar? Meh; I can already see her going the Lisa Tucker route.
Lakisha Jones: “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston. Yes, Lakisha. You’re loud. We get it.
Sabrina Sloan: “Don’t Let Go” by En Vogue (I think).
Haley Scarnato: “If My Heart Had Wings” by Faith Hill. Oh, great, more Disney-character trilling.
Stephanie Edwards: “Sweet Thing.” Mary J., Chaka, Van Morrison?

Spoiler update.

Here are your totally unconfirmed spoilers for this week’s episodes:

Antonella Barba: “Come To My Window” by Melissa Etheridge. Although spoilers say Antonella sounds amazing in rehearsals…meh. Unless she ramps it up about seven keys, I see this one being dull and plodding.
Sabrina Sloan: “Listen” by Beyonce. Good, contemporary choice, but Sabrina, like a favorite contestant last year, tends to get very strident in her upper range, and this song will require her to go there a lot. She could be the first of the divas to go, and either Antonella or Haley (yawn on both counts) could make the Top 12 instead.

Like I said, totally unconfirmed at this point. Make of them what you will…

More of the Top 24 men.

It comes from a pretty reliable source (one who spoiled the last two seasons of Canadian Idol flawlessly)…so we’ll just have to see.

Blake Lewis
Brandon Rogers
Chris Sligh
Chris Richardson
Jared “J.L.” Cotter
Jason “Sundance” Head
Philip “Phil” Joel Stacey
Rudy Cardenas
Sanjaya Malakar
Nick Pedro
Paul Kim
AJ Tablado

And my thoughts:
Paul Kim is a new name. I dunno. He promotes himself as soul/neo-soul/R&B on his MySpace, but he sounds pretty standard R&B/rap to me…only not particularly distinctive. Nice voice, though. Oh, and nice pecs, too.

Blake Lewis’ MySpace is sporting some new tunes, one of which is a beat-box-off entitled “Qbert vs. BShorty.” I’m sorry, I just can’t get behind an Americal Idol contestant who calls himself “Bshorty.” That’s just wrong, dude. Most of the other tunes feature a whole lot of beatboxing, mixing, some sad little rapping, and a whole lot of eletronically-faded “ooohs” and “ohhhs,” but not a whole lot of BShorty’s…well, voice. And everytime I see him, I think he looks like he should be clutching glowsticks and proclaiming his love for everyone at the rave, in between suckling on his pacifier. That being said, his “Closer to Reason” is quite…entrancing. But I’m not sure I’d want him to win, although he’s already stolen the hearts (and cringe-inducing Photoshopped signature) of Internet tweens.

Poised to become another tween favorite is Sanjaya Malakar. Adorable, sure, but I suspect he doesn’t have as much control over his high-pitched teenage voice as he displayed during his audition, and I predict a quick exit for him a la last year’s heartthrobs David Radford and Will Makar.

Check out some Chris Sligh tunes over at his band’s MySpace. I think he sounds better and stronger than he did during the auditions. And I want him to go far for two other reasons — he’s different, and Katharine McPhee insulted him all high-school popular girl style (“Um, you know, I don’t want to be mean, but…”). And his photo proves that you don’t have to look like McPhee to rock the come-hither look. Go ‘head, Sligh!

Sundance Head is still my pick to win it all, and I have to say, I respect the guy for not having a MySpace or any other kind of official website. Interesting that we know nothing about him other than his father’s history as a performer. Could he — GASP! — actually earn his standing this season based on vocals alone?

Phil Stacey is also laying low on the net, with a personal MySpace, but no music posted on it. Check out the pic, though — those are some blue, blue eyes.

Former back-up singer Brandon Rogers could light up the Vegas Strip with his smile, but I find his singing just too indistinctive to carry him very far in the competition. Rudy Cardenas was another one I wasn’t too crazy about; too many men this season have the boyband sound about them. Nick Pedro…he was the guy who made it to Hollywood last year, butchered the words to a group song, and then voluntarily withdrew, no? Between him and Gina Glocksen, this show is turning into Last Ditch Effort Idol. Newbie to the list AJ Tabaldo is more R&B (gee, do you think they’re gunning for a male R&B artist to win this year?), but I’m not flipping out over him. And honestly, I don’t even remember Chris Richardson at this point.

Spoiler update.

Some more names have been added to idolforums’ list of spoilers. Previously confirmed: Jordin Sparks, Blake Lewis, Chris Richardson, Gina Glocksen, Phil Stacey, Antonella Barba, Sundance Head, Chris Sligh, Brandon Rogers (who we’ve yet to meet). But there are a few new names in the pot now (and some previous names that were showing up on old spoiler lists haven’t made this one yet). Take a gander:

Marisa Rhodes, whose famewhoring photographs prove that she’ll need a serious image retooling if she expects to win over those Bible Belt voters. Provocative young misses sell records; they don’t win Idol, unless they couch their naughty nature in sweet prom dresses and classic songs. Just ask Katharine McPhee. She has a MySpace filled with wide-eyed photographs, but no music for your sampling pleasure, though her header proclaims that she is “a little bit blues and a little bit rock and roll.” I can’t imagine her singing the blues in a wet torn T-shirt and underpants, but…we’ll see.

Word is now that Sanjaya Malakar has made the Top 24. I didn’t think the kid was that great, myself, though he’s prime material for a Tiger Beat cover. I’m thinking he’s this year’s Will Makar.

Jared “JL” Cotter wants to capitalize on the whole Usher and Timberlake (whatever) phenomenon. His MySpace (which does have music; it’s standard R&B, breathy vocals, stupid rap…perfect VH1 music video fare) obnoxiously declares himself “the future of R&B,” and a song called “If You Were My Girl” has the dude name-checking himself. Uhh, no. You’re not famous enough to do that yet, man.

Spoiler news

It looks confirmed that Phil Stacey, he of gleaming pate and new daddy glow, has made the Top 24. Congratulations, Phil, and here’s looking forward to hearing you in Hollywood.