Top 5: Results

Group sing! This group’s inability to harmonize truly is mind-boggling. We’re down to five contestants, and I can’t help but compare their group number to the awesomeness that was Season 5’s Elvis medley. Now that was an amazing moment–Taylor and Katharine and Elliott and Chris all coming together, all sounding fantastic, goofing off together and missing their marks and generally dropping their bullshit personas (well, if you’re not counting McPhee wearing one of her many “Pretty Thing” shirts) for a few minutes to just genuinely have a good time and sing like their lives depended on it. It was one of the best moments of the season, especially in light of the still-persistent rumors that most of the Season 5 contestants secretly hated each other, despite the fact that they all appeared pretty buddy-buddy onstage, and despite the fact that Elliott, Taylor, and Chris all performed together at dive bars during the tour, and Kat McPhee had Kellie Pickler as a bridesmaid in her wedding, and Ace Young wrote songs for Daughtry and all that. Nope, they all totally wanted to slit each other’s throats. But if you buy the rumors, watching that particular performance was akin to peeling an onion — one layer of “oh, they’re all so cute together” revealing another layer of “but they’re so competitive!” on top of “but they totally seem like best friends” on top of “but The Advocate said only two of them were sweet and easy to get along with, while the other two were annoying divas!” And then you started to cry anyway, either because of the sheer beauty of the entire performance or because you realized just how much thought you were investing into American Idol. I’ll leave you to guess whether mine were tears of joy or of sorrow.

But getting back to the actual present, the kids are attempting a Neil Diamond medley. Syesha‘s microphone is strangely turned off for most of it, not that I’m really complaining or anything. She’s wearing an odd little Grecian-style minidress; it’s got one shoulder and is simultaneously slate gray and peach, and it is very short and shows off Syesha’s lovely legs, because she’s onto the game and is pulling out all the stops. You know, I don’t even think Syesha is a real person anymore. I’m convinced that she’s actually Katharine McPhee in a very elaborate Days of our Lives-style disguise. Oh, come on; you know you don’t seriously doubt she’d do it, and besides, being back to traipsing barefoot across the shiny Idol stage has got to be better than wearing a prosthetic pregnant belly alongside Rumer Willis. They do “Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show” at the end, which is one of my favorite Neil songs ever, so I wind up happy, even if I still kind of think they all suck in one way or another.

And then Ryan wants to reassure us all that despite whatever you might have read on the Internet this morning, Paula is not being fired, because she is family and they love her, even though she’s really just the cousin that no one likes to talk about, possibly because she’s batshit, possibly because no one’s really sure who her real parents actually are. Paula, for her part, looks eminently grateful in her strange porcelain-doll dress and her even stranger porcelain-doll wig.

Castro, safe. Archuleta, safe. Cook, safe. Brooke and Syesha are called out to the seal, but are never explicitly labeled as the bottom two, which probably doesn’t mean much, but at this point the tinfoil-hat stuff is far more interesting than any of the actual performances. And then Natasha Bedingfield comes out and sings about the sun, looking exactly nothing like she did the last time I saw her, when she was all boho and dancing alongside little cartoon radios. She has straw hair and sad heroin eyes now. I wonder if she and Nelly Furtado ever go out for skim frapps together and compare notes and hair products and their eternal contractual obligations to the underworld.

Neil Diamond sings one of his new songs, “Pretty Amazing Grace.” And it’s awesome. His band’s a little overpowering, and given that Home After Dark is another Rick Rubin production, I’m thinking that the album cut is going to be more restrained. In any event, I like the slight mambo swing of the song. Ryan congratulates Neil for having the energy to still stand on his own two feet, and then we cut to Neil’s mother in the audience, because nice guys like Neil bring their moms places. Ryan asks us why we should all buy Neil’s new album — I’m totally downloading it the minute it drops, by the way — and Neil says “because it’s good,” which rocks. Heh. And then it appears that Simon and Neil have some kind of history together, because neither one seems to like the other very much. Oooh, scandal. One I’m too lazy to Google, though.

Brooke and Syesha hit the seal again. Ryan asks Syesha whether it’s hard choosing what to sing every week; Syesha responds that it is, because usually she doesn’t know the songs. Yes, Syehsa wants us to believe that she didn’t know “I Will Always Love You.” Or “Me and Mrs. Jones.” Or “Saving All My Love For You.” Or “YEsterday.” Oh, just go away. Brooke is already breaking down; she’s sobbing before Ryan even calls her name, and she’s in hysterics before Ruben celebrates her home. Meanwhile, Syesha has placed her hand over her heart in her community-theater way, because she is an actress, and also because she is Katharine. Ryan hands Brooke the mic and tells her “this is gonna be hard.” Oh, thanks, Ryan. She fumbles in the beginning, but looks like she’s getting into the groove, and then my DVR decides it has had quite enough of this. So, your final four — Archuleta, Cook, Castro, and Mercado. I’m partial to Cook vs. Castro when it comes down to the bitter, bitter end.

Introducing…

TV Guide interviewed the Top 12 contestants. Tidbits include:

Fantasy song choices. Chris Richardson hopes to sing a little Maroon 5. Chris Sligh wants to do “Know,” an original song. (Heh, good luck with that.) Lakisha Jones would love to sing — get ready for this, it’s a shocker — “I Will Always Love You.” Sigh. Lakisha. Try to be a little more diverse, please?

Musical inspirations. Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones go for the safe choices of Stevie Wonder and Whitney Houston, respectively. Brandon Rogers looks up to Alison Krauss (awesome!), while Phil Stacey admires Melinda Doolittle (sweet!), and Chris S. digs anyone Elliott Yamin ever admired, plus Lynyrd Skynrd and Jason Mraz.

Looking into the future. If the whole Idol thing doesn’t work out, all the contestants say they will continue to sing and hope to release CDs. Jordin Sparks and Brandon hope to also obtain medical degrees, while Lakisha just wants a stable homelife.

Follow the link above to read more…

Widgets.

Check out the updates to the sidebar widgets, including:

-An Amazon link to pre-order Elliott Yamin’s CD;
-A link to Idol’s Top 24 questionnaires;
-Permalinks to both Taylor Hicks’ and Katharine McPhee’s AOL Sessions.

Kat’s are new, and as always, she is a contradiction in terms — a grown woman, possessive of very adult bombshell looks, she prances about the stage like an eight-year-old singing into a hairbrush. For a girl who exudes such natural beauty, she still doesn’t seem quite content with herself; thus, every smile, every toss of the hair, every hip wiggle is planned and deliberate, a mere approximation of what she thinks is supposed to be sexy. I may not like her, but damn, she doesn’t need to work this hard. This may be part of the reason she’s so popular with teenagers, who don’t fully understand themselves what sex appeal is all about. But anyway. If you like Katharine, you’re gonna love these. (I’m just assuming, of course, as I only got through 30 seconds of the first three videos each.)

Crystal ball.

Before making a series of predictions that, two months down the road, will probably serve as nothing more than evidence of my stupidity (and a strong suggestion that I should never, ever set foot in an OTB), should we first talk about the latest ridiculous piece of gossip to hit the net? Yeah, we might as well. Star Magazine, that ballast of integrity, is reporting that Taylor Hicks is a cursin’, temper tantrum-throwin’, hissy-fit havin’, nose-in-the-air, cold, impersonable diva. Says an “insider,” Taylor didn’t want a bodyguard accompanying him to the bathroom (egads! Stone him, I say!) and didn’t want to be in the show once he made the Top 8 anymore (which I guess is why he kept on turning in those high-energy, crowd-pleasing performances). Also ridiculous is the claim that “all the male contestants became friends — except Hicks.” Which is why Elliott Yamin and Ace Young (not to mention Paris Bennett) showed up at the finale waving sticks with a big ol’ photo attached to them — ’cause, you know, he was a dick. It’s also why Elliott, Ace, Bucky Covington and Chris Daughtry jammed with Taylor and LiMBO after all those American Idol concerts — ’cause Taylor is a jackass.

This is the second patently false story to be created about Taylor (the first being the massacring of his Relix magazine quotes in order to spin him into an ungrateful little bitch). Coupled with the fact that the last few episodes of Idol have deftly avoided mentioning the fact that he actually has a CD out, I’m beginning to suspect that there is an effort — well, not necessarily to sabotage Taylor, but at the very least, to get the hell away from American Idol, so that DAUGHTRY11!!!1 and Katharine McPhee (who, interestingly enough and despite all her promo, has only sold about 163,000 copies of her album) can reign supreme as default co-winners. I say, run, Taylor. Run as far away as you can from Idol. Build a career based upon respect and talent from indie greats in the music industry, instead of based on the fleeting love of Extra! and People Magazine.

Anywhoo. So we’ve got a Top 24, ladies and gents, and I’m gonna make some calls. Who’s Top 12-bound? Who’s cannon fodder? Who could sneak out of the shadows a la Elliott and turn out to be a major force to be reckoned with in the months ahead? Here are my predictions. (And no, I could not fit ALL their pictures here.)

Like, so obviously Top 12: Well, let’s start with two of the most obvious: Blake Lewis and Chris Sligh. Blake’s got some mad skillz, there’s no doubting that. The boy is extremely talented. But does he sing as well as he beat-boxes? I don’t think it matters at this stage in the game. He’s got a scarily huge fanbase over at the teen-dream headquarters that are idolforums. He’s got frosted, gimmicky hair. And he’s received MAJOR pimping. He’s in.

Same goes for Sligh, who’s probably the most savvy contestant this show’s ever seen, and from what I’ve read of his blogs, just generally an awesome person all around. Sligh knows that half the battle on this show is winning them over with your personality, and he’s milking that for all it’s worth. I don’t feel like I’ve gotten to see enough of his actual performing, but I’m looking forward to it. He’s a lock for the Top 12, but at some point in time, his vocals will have to trump his sense of humor, lest he avoid becoming this season’s Pickler.

Also a lock, I think, is Gina Glocksen. She’s received the biggest push out of all of the women, and she seems to have a fairly decent-sized fanbase. The one thing that could hurt her? She comes off as a rocker chick, but word on the street is that she’ll be focusing more on pop music in the competition. If the audience feels duped, they may not respond with votes.

I’m also gonna go out on a limb and say that Sundance Head will be making the Top 12. I think he’s got a decent base, even though they lay low. And it’s possible that people may remember his initial audition and be willing to forgive his missteps in Hollywood. But I also think that there’s more to Sundance than we’ve been show, and I have a feeling that he pulled out all the stops for his final a cappella performance in Hollywood. The viewing audience wasn’t treated to it, leaving the audience with the impression that he just flat-out sucks and was inexplicably put through. But I’m not sure just how low Idol would stoop in putting through a singer who bombed on everything in Hollywood, so I’m going to predict that he’ll come out swinging in the semi-finals and earn his way into the Top 12.

We’ll also be seeing sweet, quiet Melinda Doolittle in the finals, mark my words. Even if she stumbles in the semi-finals, or turns in subpar performances, I expect the judges to coddle her with “that wasn’t your best performance, but you’ll sail through” sentiments. Personality might be a problems after that, though; she’ll have to inspire people to care about her.

Brandon Rogers and his mega-watt smile are going through to the Top 12. He’s got the squee! factor, and while I find his vocals a bit nondescript at this point, a lot of people really like him, and I think, so does the show. I’ll be shocked if he doesn’t make the Top 12.

I also expect Jordin Sparks to make it. She’s incredibly talented, but even if she doesn’t live up to it in the semi-finals, she’ll go through, because America likes putting through cute talented teenagers, and Simon enjoys screwing with them once they make the Top 12 — telling them to sing songs more their age, but then berating them for being bland when they do. Ahh, it’s a sport, I tell you. Comparisons between Jordin and Lisa Tucker have already been drawn, and not just because are both young with curly hair and cocoa skin, either. Lisa had a penchant for picking songs that aged her about fifty years (though it never bothered me, personally) and falling flat when she tried bouncier numbers; the same may happen to Jordin.

Obviously cannon fodder: I think it’s pretty clear that Simon built up Alaina Alexander for the sheer pleasure of tearing her down later. This very pretty girl simply cannot sing very well. She’s off-pitch, affected and is always gasping for air. Expect lots of tears when her dreams are crushed and she’s forced to go get that college degree after all.

Nicole Tranquillo. All together now: “Who?” Unless she really comes out fighting, she’s toast. Remember Heather Cox last year? Girlfriend never had a chance. Neither did Melissa McGhee, who managed to sneak into the Final 12 (and to not last long), because I think there was voter backlash against Simon for reaming Melissa (who gave a great performance) and for coddling Ayla Brown, who was meh. Anyway, Nicole doesn’t have the benefit of…well, anyone knowing who the hell she is, so I don’t see her going very far.

The same goes for unknown Amy Krebs, who, despite being toothy and cute-as-a-button, seems like filler. It’s possible that she might make it, but no way in hell will both she and Nicole make the Top 12.

I fear for adorable Sanjaya Malakar. I’ve yet to be blown away by him, and I know that American Idol loves to be able to cut down a couple of teenagers during the semi-finals. I see it happening with him, unless of course he becomes a Covais-like sensation. He needs to step it up if he wants to make the Top 12, but at this point, it’s not looking good.

I’m also getting a strong filler vibe from Nick Pedro, although I can’t really put my finger on why, exactly. Maybe because he reminds me of Judd Harris? Hey, I didn’t say I had an accurate or logical prediction method, now did I? And Sabrina Sloan? Sabrina who? She’s out, no matter how talented she is.

Haley Scarnato has got to go. She wasn’t all that during her audition, and she was even worse during Hollywood. I’m not sure what they’re seeing in her, other than that she’s someone to focus the negative energy on early in the competition.

Middle of the pack: Jared “J.L.” Cotter, A.J. Tablado, Lakeesha Jones, Phil Stacey, Chris Richardson, and Paul Kim all have potential, whether it’s singing, personality, or squee-wise.

Possible dark horses: Rudy Cardenas has annoying boy-band vocals, and I stil haven’t forgiven him for the way he massacred “Georgia” during his a cappella performance, but he made the Top 24 regardless. He may have potential. By no means do I think he is a lock for the Top 12, but I won’t be surprised at all if he makes it.

Antonella Barba has also gotten her fair share of airtime, but more for her squabbling with her groupmates than for her actual singing. And from what I’ve heard, I think she’s got a good voice, but not a great voice. The tweens love her (becuz omg shez so pretty!!11111!), and she may make the Top 12, but I don’t see her as unique or talented enough to pull off a victory. In fact, it seems like most of the girls are pretty interchangable vocally this year. It’s weird.

Stephanie Edwards was unseen and unheard before last night. She sounded good in the tiny little clip we were showed, and she has the potential to sneak in a la Latoya and pull out a show-stopping performance. With her short, highlighted hair, she also has a distinctive look, and runs less of a risk of getting lost in the shuffle of blandly pretty girls like Alaina, Antonella, Amy and Nicole.

A definite dark horse candidate — and my current favorite — is the wonderful Leslie Hunt. She’s already got points in her favor for memorability — a distinctive look, a distinctive voice — and impeccable taste in music (which will hopefully translate into impeccable song choices). Girlfriend loves her some Nina Simone, which means I loves me some Leslie. This was also the girl featured in the original “Is she the ONE???????” promo spots for Idol, and yes, she can sing.

Episode III: Idols Strike Back

After a few weeks of laying low, Taylor Hicks is back in full-force as he gears up for his tour, kicking off next week. (And yes, I’ll be attending the Orlando show!) Hicks has a new interview out with gather.com. Not much new, but a couple of interesting tidbits:

-It was “a struggle” to get his own material on the album.
-A song that put a lump in his throat without fail? “Am I Blue” by Ray Charles.
-We may hear “Somehow” live on tour (yay!).
-A video is “coming around” and Taylor hasn’t been told which song will be the focus of the video. (Uhh…doesn’t it make sense that the current single should be the video? But I’m not part of Taylor’s crack marketing team, so don’t ask me…)

Taylor was also spotted on BuzzFoto (the site famous for exposing Katharine McPhee’s nasty little habit of leaving her puppy in the car while she dined at a swank L.A. restaurant), entering an equally swank L.A. eatery while wearing another unfortunate velvet jacket. Oh, Taylor. Have we learned nothing? On a side note, that boy sure is gettin’ skinny.

Taylor also made a brief, if not a bit disheveled, appearance at Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy party this past weekend (alongside Katharine and Chris Daughtry), where he was received with warm applause (but apparently forgot to remove the tag from his suit jacket. Aww.) After that, it was back to tour rehearsals. Contrasting Taylor’s frumpiness quite starkly was Katharine in her latest Frederick’s of Hollywood number. Sticking true to her current style of jeans-clad girl next door by day (so as not to piss off all those suburban moms watching her on “Today,” “The Early Show,” and “Rachael Ray,” no doubt) and exotic dancer by night, Kat sports an ensemble with the following traits: shorty-short skirt; low-dipping back; see-through, panty-flashing fabric; and her trademark water-balloon cleavage. Somehow, I don’t think Katharine ever learned the phrase “less is more. Well, either that or she’s scared that actually covering up one of her, ahem, assets would run the risk of taking all the attention away from her. It’s one of the two.

Speaking of Ms. McPhee, how in the world did I ever miss her appearance on this list? I must be slipping in my old age.

And finally, EW’s Popwatch reviewed Elliott Yamin’s new single (available for download today). Here’s some of what they had to say:

Thankfully, Elliott’s in great voice on lead single “Movin’ On,” a kiss-off to a fickle lover that could just as easily be interpreted as a message to all those major-label execs who failed to snatch him up after his third-place finish on Idol’s fifth season. The song’s got a ’70s, smooth-jazzy vibe that vaguely reminds me of “Just the Two of Us,” but I don’t think it would be totally out of place on today’s pop radio, either. All in all, a very wise choice…

A conglomeration, a mishmash, a menage, if you will.

Hey, Taylor Hicks has got some new stuff up at rehearsals.com! Be sure to check out Taylor adding a new break-down ending to “Hold Onto Your Love,” wrapping his beautiful, bluesy tenor around…lyrics about methadone and soul fires, as far as I can tell. You never know. Anyway, check out all of Taylor’s rehearsals.com appearances here…and don’t miss “You Are So Beautiful.”

So Idol is accepting coronation song submissions from the public this year. That means instead of hearing shit like “My Destiny” from professional songwriters, you’ll likely be hearing worse songs from people who can’t hack it. Hey, Idol loves an underdog, am I right? Anyway, Uncle Nigel (Lythgoe) has pitched to FOX an Idol All-Stars show, where past winners (which, according to Nigel, would be Kelly, Ruben, Fantasia, Carrie and Chris) would come back to sing songs in the running for the final pick before viewers vote on them. Also, Uncle Nigel had this to say about Simon Cowell’s much-maligned “bush baby” comment:

A bush baby isn’t even a monkey… .A bush baby has beautiful, big eyes… .I don’t find it derogatory.

Hey, thanks, Nigel, for proving once again that you have no soul.

Want to listen to the full version of Elliott Yamin’s “Movin’ On”? Check it out at AOL’s First Listen. (You can also find snippets of “A Song For You,” “You Are the One,” and “Find a Way.”) If I had to find something wrong with the song (and you knew I would), it would be that, once again, I am completley unimpressed by the production. I learned these same three chords on my Casio when I was, like, six. I think the song is better suited either for a beautiful piano (the delicacy of the piano combined with the funky power of Elliott’s vocals would be an interesting textural contrast) or a full-out funkified workout, but here it just kind of sounds like they fell short on the budget. And hey, maybe they did. But you know what? Elliott’s vocals are superb here. I mean, we’re talking nearly flawless. (Taylor reaches this level too with “The Right Place” on his CD, and Katharine gets her technically, but still soulless, impeccable performance on “Ordinary World.”) But still, Elliott sounds much, much more interesting than he ever did on Idol, because I have to admit, while he was on the show, I never quite got his appeal. But now I do. And I’m eagerly awaiting this CD.

In Katharine McPhee news, The Advocate takes the same tack on her album that most reviewers are taking–beautiful girl, beautiful voice, one or two redeeming ballads, and the rest is commercialized crap:

McPhee sings darker and lower than her singing heroines, which allows her some individuality despite the conformity that surrounds her. The multi-tracked McPhee stacks enough harmonies to be a one-woman Destiny’s Child. The instrumental arrangements around her contain the usual electronics that fill contemporary hip-hop and R&B music, but the overall production echoes Whitney Houston and Madonna in their ’80s dance-pop glory. There are a few nods to Gwen Stefani and soul classic Aretha Franklin, too. McPhee’s talent is best expressed, in fact, by the Franklin-like “Better Off Alone.” Otherwise, the marketplace rules.

Elliott Yamin has a song for you.

Elliott Yamin has a 30-second clip of a new song floating around the Internet. It’s called “Movin’ On,” and I have to say, it sounds really excellent. Very neo-soul, like John Legend, whom I adore. I hope it sells well, but I think the most important thing is that Elliott has creative control and puts out the type of album he wants…and, of course, that his fans are pleased.

When compared to the treacle of “Dream Myself Awake,” it’s enough to make this Taylor fan wish that Taylor hadn’t won, and had gotten the Hickory deal instead. Oh, well.

Our long national nightmare is over.

Well, that title may be a tad hyperbolic, but it’s not intended to be sarcastic. If ever there were an American Idol contestant who deserved to come out of the season with a record deal, it was Elliott Yamin, the pure-of-tone, good-natured, smooth R&B crooner who advanced all the way to the Final Three with nary a gimmick. (Oh, sure, he had a backstory that could make you shed a tear or two, but he never mentioned it on the show…nor did he try to increase his voting base by shouting out constantly to his fans, by pretending to be an idiot, or by coasting by on giggles, winks and prominently displayed breasts).

Well, thankfully, sometimes nice guys do get what they deserve. Elliott has signed with indie label Hickory Records, and has also inked a distribution deal with Sony to help him out with the promotion. Being with an indie means we likely won’t be seeing him on Ugly Betty or playing at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, but unlike Taylor and Katharine, Elliott’s deal allows him more creative control over his music. The album drops March 20, and a single, “Movin’ On,” is expected to hit iTunes and the like on February 13. I’m excited; I don’t consider myself an “invested” Elliott fan, but I always liked his voice, and I just can’t think of anyone who deserves this more. Congratulations, Elliott.

Kibbles ‘n bits.

Billboard Magazine will be doing a feature on Katharine McPhee in the next coming weeks, but for now, you can read this fairly short, straightforward article. It’s fairly non-controversial, but I do have a hard time believing that Katharine really thinks that 22-year-olds around the nation have cluttered their iPod with Timberlake, Fergie, Christina and Nelly Furtado. I’m not much older than Kat, as are my friends, and oh sure, we might have one or two songs by these aforementioned artists on our playlists…but most of us are into blues, metal, punk, folk, electric rock, Southern rock, or, regrettably, emo. I don’t really think Katharine is that out of touch with her own generation, so I’m going to assume that RCA is kind of putting words in her mouth here…because I don’t know any 22-year-old who, after experiencing the tumult of love and loss, is gonna run to get healed by Kat’s “Over It.” (Well…okay, I do have ONE friend whose CD collection is straight off the ClearChannel programming playlist. But just one.) I do know a couple of eighth-graders who might, though. (And that’s just fine…but let’s be honest about it!) Also, McPhee’s producer is busy getting together a live band for her television promo appearances this month. This should be interesting…since so much of her music is synthesized.

Billboard, like many other publications, is also running a feature marvelling at what a behemoth American Idol has become. Old news is discussed, most notably the new songwriting competition, which viewers will be able to vote on through the show’s website (so what happens if viewers vote through a horrible, horrible song like “My Destiny” that NO ONE could be able to sing correctly?). Also, be on the lookout for rawkers and “quirky” singers in the vein of Taylor Hicks and Elliott Yamin (Elliott was…quirky?) during the auditions. Oh, joy. Copycats. And naturally, the show’s creators tap-dance around their much-touted surprise that will “blow everyone away”:

And look for what Warwick describes as an “absolute mega-night” when the show trims the number of finalists to six contestants. “We’re a bit concerned at the moment that it will overshadow the final,” he says.

“Overshadow the finale,” hmm? Seems to me that it’s a guest performer he’s hinting at.

On with more gossipy news, the New York Post (a publication not known for its fact-checking; see the Taylor Hicks Relix controversy) supposedly interviewed ten different past Idol contestants to get the scoop on what life was really like behind the scenes. And as you might have imagined, it was pretty boring (or at least that’s what the contestants want you to believe). Jessica Sierra and Nadia Turner would have a glass of wine and watch TV! Josh Gracin and Paris Bennett’s mom cooked for everyone! Scott Savol took Anthony Fedorov to Hooters’! And Katharine McPhee snuck out of the compound to spend the night (or just visit? Thanks for pointing it out, Winnie, but I think the context is a little unclear) with her boyfriend (dangerous!). Not that it’s an egregious offense–many contestants complained about the harsh restrictions–but McPhee’s dalliances and disregard for the rules must have come as quite a kick in the nuts to those contestants who were stuck in the apartment because they didn’t have anywhere to sneak to. Hmm. Hey, remember that time that Kat’s mother reportedly threatened to pull her out of the competition if she wasn’t allowed home visits? (EDIT–it’s been brought to my attention that this was merely an unconfirmed rumor, so I’m deleting it.) Remember when Nigel Lythgoe commented that Katharine was “always on the edge of losing it?” Katharine tells the Post that no one ever knew that she snuck out, but I’m willing to bet that they did, and they let her, because they didn’t want to deal with her having a nervous breakdown on their hands. (That would be bad for business.)

And last but not least, contrary to popular (including my own) belief, Taylor, Katharine and Chris aren’t the only season five Idols to be putting out music these days. Paris Bennett will be releasing a single this Tuesday called “Ordinary Love.” I guess the song’s okay, but what’s going on with female Idol contestants in the recording studio these days? Taylor and Chris both sounded great, but Kat’s sounding tinny and child-like on her songs, and Paris is sounding…just bad. I don’t even think she’s singing her way through this song; it’s more like she’s shouting her notes. Then again, she was always a bit strident when tackling upper-range material; her best performances were when she stayed in her smokey lower range (like “These Foolish Things”). She’s got another song, too, called “Hold Up.” It’s more of a rap, and it’s hilarious, because while the backbeat is actually very hardcore, but the song itself is just…really…bad. Not only is the rhythm off, but singing “I ain’t cereal/you can’t milk me?” Umm…go back to jazz, Paris. We liked you there.

But you know who, by contrast, sounds really, really good–better than he ever did on Idol? Bucky Covington, who has four new songs on his MySpace. Bucky’s CD is being released April 17th, and his first single is called “A Different World.” While his voice is missing the gruffness (well, its kind of there on “American Friday Night”) that I really came to love on Idol (strangely, I think his best performance on the entire show was the little snippet he sang on “Taking Care of Business” during the finale), he undeniably sounds fantastic here.

Odds and ends.

The New York Daily News reports that Idol producers are planning a “midseason bang” that will “blow America away.” I’d take that with a grain of salt; after all, this is coming from the show where every departure is “the most shocking results show evah,” even when it’s, well, not. Still, my interest is piqued. I just hope that the show doesn’t start delving into behind-the-scenes (and not at all scripted!) “tension” in the Idols’ apartment complex. Show, you don’t need to go there.

Katharine McPhee’s two new singles, “I Lost You” and “Dangerous,” drop today exclusively at a Wal-Mart near you. Strangely, the singles have received almost no promotion, except for some internet buzz that spread like wildfire when a Wal-Mart mistakenly put out the single early last week. The fans so far seem pretty happy with the singles, which is good for them, but a MySpace bulletin from Katharine seems to downplay any idea that either of these two songs will even make it onto the album, let alone be the first radio/video-released single.

It’s strange not to have any promotion for it, though. Clive Davis has said previously that he doesn’t think any of the Idols need pre-release singles, but here Kat’s got two. Maybe they think that shoppers will come in looking for DAUGHTRY or Taylor Hicks for the holidays, see the $2.98 Kat single, and pick that up, too? That’s probably not a bad idea–a quick search for either of those two albums on Amazon reveals that customers who bought them largely also pre-ordered McPhee’s debut. The Idol fan wars are largely an Internet phenomenon; many casual watchers of the show are fans of several lof the competitors.

Another explanation could be the fact that it doesn’t seem to me like Kat’s people did a good job of announcing her delayed release date. Yes, her official websites all say January 30, and she told Access Hollywood January 30, but several outlets (including my local newspaper) were trumpeting her release today. Could the single be out as a placeholder for those who go shopping today expecting to find a full album? And if that’s the motivation, why only release to Wal-Mart? But then again, I never so much as took a marketing class in college, so what do I know?

On the other end of the spectrum, MJ reports that Elliott Yamin may be making an announcement later this week…relating to a possible recording deal. Yay for Elliott! It’s about time. More to come if and when this is made official.

And finally, a few new reviews of Taylor Hicks’ debut were posted today. I was expecting sales numbers, too, but unfortunately, HDD is on vacation, so we’ll just have to wait for SoundScan tomorrow…

“It’s probably damning Hicks with faint praise to say that the American Idol champ’s debut is more winning than anyone had a right to expect. The mostly generic tunes provided by a predictable posse of studio vets include a few surprisingly savvy showcases for Hicks’ gray-haired soul shtick. Alas, a pair of hokey originals should dispel any notions of the crooner as a budding troubadour.” (two and a half out of four stars) —USA Today (This is one of the few reviews I’ve seen where Taylor’s originals weren’t pointed out as some of the best stuff on the album.)

Ken Barnes of USA Today’s Idol Chatter also chimed in with a track-by-track review. Interestingly (or unfortunately) enough, he believes the stronger tracks on the album to be “Dream Myself Awake” (dies laughing) and “Give Me Tonight” (just dies). Barnes was unimpressed with the “whompier” tunes (“Heaven Knows” and “The Runaround”). As for Taylor’s originals, he hated “Soul Thing” but really liked “The Deal,” and gave the album three out of four stars overall.

“Brother Ray gets a further nod via “The Right Place,” a gospel-flavored slow burner originally penned for the late legend by Bryan Adams and Jim Vallance; Hicks infuses the song with a raspy, unforced growl. Alongside numbers contributed by the likes of professional songwriters Dianne Warren and Rob Thomas, the prematurely gray vocalist holds his own with two self-penned cuts originally recorded for his second independent release, Under the Radar. His fans call themselves the Soul Patrol, and Hicks’s R&B- and rock-infused album reveals him to be the most multi-talented American Idol winner to date.” —Barnes and Noble (I love when the growl gets love.)

“Hicks wrote two of the 12 numbers here, and though they fit in inconspicuously, they don’t arrive till the end — right before the Bryan Adams cover. Producer Matt Serletic changes the dynamics enough — from warm ballads to horn-fortified soul-rockers — to keep the vibe from staying too constant and static. Serletic has experience working with another pop singer who has tried (too hard) to express his urban groove and Southern-fried soul: Rob Thomas (who also wrote a song here). Hicks, though, wisely remains in his own skin, keeping it real — which means good enough to entertain anyone not expecting the second coming of Otis Redding.” —The Kansas City Star (and for the last time, it’s not a Bryan Adams COVER!)