Good times.

If I were running the asylum, what would I love to see the Idolettes bang out tonight? Just for fun…

Syesha Mercado
Simon’s choice: “Paper Planes” by M.I.A. We know Syesha likes to move it, move it onstage, and we also know that she’s been pulling out all the stops wardrobe-wise these last few weeks (sequins and minis and boobs, oh my!). And we know that Simon can see right through it. So here’s a challenge — can the undeniably beautiful Syesha adopt the style of the undeniably beautiful M.I.A., ditch her spangly diva wear for oversized hoodies and multi-colored leggings, and bop across the stage? In other words, can she be fierce? Added bonus: M.I.A.’s politically relevant lyrics can satisfy Syesha’s seeming need to give the viewing audience a history lesson every week, thus sparing us all another lecture on how the bravery of the 9/11 rescuers inspire her to give her best onstage every week.

Nigel’s choice: “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins. Syesha is gearing up to spoil Nigel’s dream David vs. David finale, so what better way to knock her out of the running than to foist this demon song (that has tripped up Scott Savol, Katharine McPhee, and even this season’s Ramiele Malubay) upon her? Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Syesha’s choice: “Fame” by Irene Cara. “Remember my name, FAME! I’m gonna live forever, I’ m gonna learn now to fly.” Really, need I say more?

David Cook
Randy’s choice: “Photograph” by Nickelback. Mainly because Randy has zero creativity (or credibility, for that matter). It’s sappy, it’s got a soaring chorus, and hell, it’s probably the only relatively “modern” “rock” song that Randy even knows. Alternate choice: Nickelback’s “If Everyone Cared,” if TPTB decide that Cook needs to go two-against-one to Syesha’s spiel about how her songs are dedicated to the survivors of the Sichuan province earthquake.

Nigel’s choice: “Home” by Daughtry. What better way to promote the heir apparent to the rock gawd throne by having him tackle rock gawd 1.0’s omnipresent hit?

David C.’s choice: “Inside of You” by Infant Sorrow. What better way to pay tribute to Cook’s (apparent) slightly grungy sexuality and unwashed hair than with a little Aldous Snow? Oh, please wear skinny leather pants, David! And of course, there’s always “We’ve Got to Do Something” if Cookie feels the need to go head-to-head against Syesha’s political pandering.

David Archuleta
Paula’s choice: “Colors of the Wind” from Pocahontas. Paula has one lucid, prescient moment this season and picks a Disney song for Archie — after all, where he’s headed, he better learn to master songs that have already been covered by Vanessa Hudgens, no? Plus, colors! Yay!

Nigel’s choice: “I Want to Break Free” by Queen. Now that Nigel has confirmed the banning of Dadchuleta from David’s rehearsals, he wanted to memorialize little David’s newfound independence in song.

David A.’s choice: “Yeah” by Usher feat. Li’l Jon & Ludacris. Free from the clutches of Dadchuleta’s insistence on singing schlock like “When You Believe” and “You’re the Voice” (that “whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh” chorus is going to haunt me until the day I die), li’l Archie rebels by rapping everyone’s favorite lyrics about ladies in the street and freaks in the bed. However, he should still wear ironed jeans and that T-shirt with the little birdies on it.


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May 2008
« Apr    

What the kids are sayin’

"I hate them all. The judges, TPTB, the blatant manipulation, the songs, the contestants, everything. I'm a die-hard Cook fan, but for the love of god, at least try to look like you're enjoying yourself up there! Please? Syesha was awesome but she ruined it by being completely shameless and disgusting. Yes, being on American Idol is exactly like the civil rights movement, except for the part where you're fighting to make the world a better place."

"All I can say after the disgusting display tonight of favoritism towards the mediocrity that is David A. - good luck trying to market and make money off of that kid, American Idol. (Not to mention good luck dealing with his father.) All the teeny boppers may buy up his American Idol coronation single, but they will quickly forget about him before the album comes out. And I shudder to think of a David A. album - song after song of unrelenting sameness and heavy breathing. Why they are pimping him for the win is beyond me."

"This show was simply a hot buttered mess tonight. And Jason "needs to be arrested for what he did to I Shot the Sheriff. But I hope he stays. He amuses me. "

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