Dave White is the MAN. And that’s pretty much all there is to it.

There are several hilarious websites available for American Idol recaps. TVGasm, of course, delivers snark in a straightforward, unadorned manner, whereas TWoP balances Idol-recapping duties between the easy humor of recapper Joe R (who has vastly improved since he first signed on) and the “too cool for school and definitely cooler than you” style of Jacob. (Jacob’s an awesome recapper, don’t get me wrong, and I appreciate the fact that he doesn’t patronize his readers and isn’t afraid of purposefully pulling out the most obscure word in the thesaurus, but at the same time, he does have a bit of an intellectually-superior air about him. Whatever, though, because I love him.)

But maybe the best recapper of them all is The Advocate’s Dave White. Not only is he laugh-out-loud funny, but he recaps his own experiences with the show as much as he recaps the show itself, and therefore actually makes you care about what he writes. I mean, his epic battle between Hating Taylor and Accepting Taylor was worthy of any telenovela. In fact, why don’t you go over right now and read his latest recap? I mean, since you’re reading my page, you’re obviously not doing anything really important anyway, right? And while you’re at it, have an excerpt:

She’s 17, and when Simon says, “Tell us something interesting about you,” she launches into a story about her paralyzed father who “shot hisself.” The full explanation: “His wife was cheatin’ on him, which was my stepmama n’ he caught her in th’ act and it wuzn’t the first time so he shot her and he shot hisself and now I live with my gramma to help take care a’ him. It’s OK.” My favorite part of this horrifying story is that she grins after she finishes telling it. Somewhere in a fancy five-star hotel on a promotional tour for her new CD, Kelli Pickler is dining on calamari being spoon-fed to her by a personal assistant and she’s muttering slyly, “Well-played, Elly May, well-played.

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What the kids are sayin’



"I hate them all. The judges, TPTB, the blatant manipulation, the songs, the contestants, everything. I'm a die-hard Cook fan, but for the love of god, at least try to look like you're enjoying yourself up there! Please? Syesha was awesome but she ruined it by being completely shameless and disgusting. Yes, being on American Idol is exactly like the civil rights movement, except for the part where you're fighting to make the world a better place."



"All I can say after the disgusting display tonight of favoritism towards the mediocrity that is David A. - good luck trying to market and make money off of that kid, American Idol. (Not to mention good luck dealing with his father.) All the teeny boppers may buy up his American Idol coronation single, but they will quickly forget about him before the album comes out. And I shudder to think of a David A. album - song after song of unrelenting sameness and heavy breathing. Why they are pimping him for the win is beyond me."



"This show was simply a hot buttered mess tonight. And Jason "needs to be arrested for what he did to I Shot the Sheriff. But I hope he stays. He amuses me. "

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