American Idol, Auditions 1: Minneapolis

Not too many memorable characters tonight (discounting folks who dressed up in American flag robes and such)…but a few worth noting.

Denise Jenkins was a tiny little sixteen-year-old with this year’s requisite sympathetic backstory (mother with drug problems, this, that, and the other thing), but her rendition of “And I Am Telling You” was simply amazing. I’d love to see her advance, but unfortunately, Idol history does not bode well for hyped-up teens such as Lisa Tucker and Paris Bennett, who never lived up to the potential they displayed in their auditions.

Her hips don't lie.  And neither does her unimpressive vocal talent.Perla Menenses was another contestant who tried her hand at the poor-me card — emigrated to the U.S. with nothing but two suitcases and a guitar, was homeless for a period of time, but it’s a “survivor” story, not a sob story (yeah, which is why she’s milking it for all it’s worth…). Despite ticking me off by misidentifying her ethnicity as Spanish (as in Spain the country), then stating that she was actually from Colombia (as in…not Spain the country), then further ticking me off by flirting with Ryan, I liked the tone of her speaking voice and figured that she’d probably turn in a decent performance. But unfortunately, her rendition of Blondie’s “Call Me” was less than stellar, and her “Hips Don’t Lie” perfectly showcased curly-headed Perla’s clear desire to establish herself as a Shakira copycat. Inexplicably, the judges put her through, although I don’t expect her to make it out of Hollywood.

Matt Sato needs to fire whoever waxes his eyebrows, but lucky for him he has an intriguing, boy-band-meets-raspy-goodness type of voice. But how versatile is he? The Hollywood rounds should shape that out.

U.S. Army reservist Rachel Jenkins looks like she could be this year’s McPhee (well, sans the fact that Katharine woudn’t be caught dead in BDUs) — a pretty, fresh apple-cheeked face that could be transformed into something really spectacular once the makeup artists get ahold of her, and a voice that is lovely and pure, yet nondescript and ultimately unremarkable. She has spunk, though, and despite some minor criticisms of her vocal control, she is put through.

Nineteen-year-old Sarah Krueger turned in a smokey rendition of “Over the Rainbow.” Despite cracking a bit on her glory note, she had a very interesting, warm unique tone to her voice, and the judges put her through. I like her, and even though she sang the song nearly exactly the way McPhee sang it, her voice is different enough that I almost didn’t mind.

Josh Flom and his pretty cool father (I like a man who can admit that he wishes his son had grown up to be a sports player, but that he supports him anyway) wants to be “just like Chris Daughtry.” Groan. Unfortunately, he sounds like Chris Daughtry with a bad case of laryngitis. The judges accuse him of being “fake rock” (uhh…show me someone who’s “real rock”). Simon poses a question: “It’s week 7, it’s ABBA week; what do you do?” Josh proposes to make it his own; the judges give him 15 minutes to pick an ABBA song and come back. A nifty rock version of “Dancing Queen” plays in the background as Josh frantically tries to find someone, anyone who knows what the fuck ABBA is. I admire the kid’s grit, but unfortunately, his voice just isn’t up to snuff, and he isn’t passed through.

And at the end of the day, only seventeen people make it through to Hollywood…


2 Responses to “American Idol, Auditions 1: Minneapolis”

  1. 1 Em January 17, 2007 at 12:46 am

    I just can’t believe that this many people are this deluded, and no one has ever told them the truth. Even after they come out of the judges’ room and have been totally bashed, their family/friends/bosses are all supportive and weepy. It is a whole new level of stage mom syndrome weirdness. I didn’t see anyone who jumped out at me as super talented and worthy. But hey, who am I. Just a hanger-on.

  2. 2 idolicious January 17, 2007 at 8:31 am

    Aside from the Crack Baby, I’ll be shocked if anyone progresses any further than Hollywood. But that was just shockingly BORING. AI might be a lot of things, but boring is never one of them.

Comments are currently closed.

January 2007
« Dec   Feb »

What the kids are sayin’

"I hate them all. The judges, TPTB, the blatant manipulation, the songs, the contestants, everything. I'm a die-hard Cook fan, but for the love of god, at least try to look like you're enjoying yourself up there! Please? Syesha was awesome but she ruined it by being completely shameless and disgusting. Yes, being on American Idol is exactly like the civil rights movement, except for the part where you're fighting to make the world a better place."

"All I can say after the disgusting display tonight of favoritism towards the mediocrity that is David A. - good luck trying to market and make money off of that kid, American Idol. (Not to mention good luck dealing with his father.) All the teeny boppers may buy up his American Idol coronation single, but they will quickly forget about him before the album comes out. And I shudder to think of a David A. album - song after song of unrelenting sameness and heavy breathing. Why they are pimping him for the win is beyond me."

"This show was simply a hot buttered mess tonight. And Jason "needs to be arrested for what he did to I Shot the Sheriff. But I hope he stays. He amuses me. "

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