There are several hilarious websites available for American Idol recaps. TVGasm, of course, delivers snark in a straightforward, unadorned manner, whereas TWoP balances Idol-recapping duties between the easy humor of recapper Joe R (who has vastly improved since he first signed on) and the “too cool for school and definitely cooler than you” style of Jacob. (Jacob’s an awesome recapper, don’t get me wrong, and I appreciate the fact that he doesn’t patronize his readers and isn’t afraid of purposefully pulling out the most obscure word in the thesaurus, but at the same time, he does have a bit of an intellectually-superior air about him. Whatever, though, because I love him.)
But maybe the best recapper of them all is The Advocate’s Dave White. Not only is he laugh-out-loud funny, but he recaps his own experiences with the show as much as he recaps the show itself, and therefore actually makes you care about what he writes. I mean, his epic battle between Hating Taylor and Accepting Taylor was worthy of any telenovela. In fact, why don’t you go over right now and read his latest recap? I mean, since you’re reading my page, you’re obviously not doing anything really important anyway, right? And while you’re at it, have an excerpt:
She’s 17, and when Simon says, “Tell us something interesting about you,” she launches into a story about her paralyzed father who “shot hisself.” The full explanation: “His wife was cheatin’ on him, which was my stepmama n’ he caught her in th’ act and it wuzn’t the first time so he shot her and he shot hisself and now I live with my gramma to help take care a’ him. It’s OK.” My favorite part of this horrifying story is that she grins after she finishes telling it. Somewhere in a fancy five-star hotel on a promotional tour for her new CD, Kelli Pickler is dining on calamari being spoon-fed to her by a personal assistant and she’s muttering slyly, “Well-played, Elly May, well-played.
